Short and Fast

A strange, unexpected thing has happened in the world of real estate; a bizarre, momentous, game-changing thing. This thing that happened is like having your bad neighbor- the neighbor who shot at your dog and cut down the tree on your side of the property line, and conducts AK-47 target practice every Sunday morning- bring you flowers and a warm pie, and smile at you without the usual tobacco juice dribbling down his chin. Wait, that sounds more like my neighbor. Maybe your neighbor just gives you the stink-eye, or maybe you give your neighbor the stink-eye. In any case, you know what I mean; friendly gestures would be unexpected, or even momentous and game-changing.

Here’s the thing that happened: a short sale negotiator for a bank returned a phone call. Yes- called a realtor back! And that’s just the beginning. This short sale negotiator, this person, gave their name, their real name! It gets more bizarre. This person took the time to explain the process for the short sale, and- get this- apologized for a slight delay, that it was the bank’s fault! It’s as if O.J. Simpson raised his hand and said, “I did it.”

The thing sounds crazy, especially to people who have been through the grueling short sale process, wherein short sale negotiators torture realtors, buyers and sellers, requiring refrigerator-sized stacks of documents filled out in triplicate, originals only (“any mistakes and they will be sent back”). Then again (“fill them out and fax them”); and again (“fill them out and email them”); and again (“do it all again because the documents were lost. Not the bank’s fault”). Days and weeks and months with no word go by (“don’t call, email only”).

One buyer said pregnancy and giving birth was like the short sale process, except faster and less painful.

Here’s the game-changer: this short sale negotiator, this person who called back, said this is a “new type of short sale”– a “DTS” short sale- with guaranteed approval by the bank in five days. That’s days, not weeks, not months. And then (are you sitting down?) this person gave the realtor a private phone number and said, “Have the buyer call me any time.” That’s crazy talk.

That’s the kind of crazy we could get used to.