The Right Stuff

by Doug Love

Realtors come from all walks of life. Interestingly, the most successful realtors are former teachers, according to research. It makes sense that former teachers would do well in Real Estate. After all, a typical real estate contract is the size of a small-town telephone book, and contains strange words and phrases like Liquidated Damages, Mello Roos, and FIRPTA. Realtors who are former teachers say things like, “Please refer to 14.B., Section 2, Subsection (iii) on Page Eight of the Purchase Agreement, and you will find clearly defined the item in question notwithstanding amendments thereto in subsequent documentation.” Their thirst for knowledge and their ability to convey information makes former teachers ideal Realtors, though their clients should be prepared for pop quizzes at any time.

Hold on. Actually, upon further investigation it appears the most successful Realtors are former Contractors. This makes sense because Contractors know foundations, stud walls, headers, joists, and rafters of buildings the way doctors know skeletal, circulatory, and nervous systems of the human body. Realtors who are former Contractors tend to pull out an extension ladder for a quick look into an attic space or onto a roof; or they might whip on a pair of overalls to make the crawl beneath the floors. Contractors can look at a home inspection report with the skill level of a doctor viewing an X-Ray. Their clients may, however, be required to sit for long periods of time in a waiting room at appointment time.

This just in: Other research has determined that former grocers, shoe salespeople, and daycare providers are the most successful Realtors, followed by former nurses, counselors, and paralegals.

We called the California Association of Realtors (C.A.R) for clarification.

“The fact is Realtors come from any and all professions you can name,” said a C.A.R representative, “but the available criteria isn’t definitive to the level at which we can determine the most successful Realtors based on former occupations. My personal belief though, is that the edge goes to former teachers.”

“Oh,” we said, “and what was your occupation before joining C.A.R?”

“Well,” he said, “I was a teacher.”

Lesson over.