24 | June | 2020 | Love's Real Stories

June 24, 2020

ZOOM

“If there is a silver lining in all of this Coronavirus shut-down, its Zoom,” said Evelyn. She was speaking to me from inside a two-inch square box on my computer screen, a participant in our Zoom meeting. The computer screen was filled with 20 square boxes of the same size. Each box contains one person, or more like the torso of one person. Each person is miniature, alive and in color. The person’s name is printed on the bottom edge of the box so you know who they are. They talk to you, and you talk to them, no matter how far away they may physically be. The Zoom scene is a bizarre scene, unless you happen to be a jaded techie, perhaps unimpressed by technological advances such as Zoom.

For someone like me, a Zoom meeting harkens back to Dick Tracy comics. Dick Tracy and his cohorts wore wristwatches with a screen in which you could see, hear, and talk to another human being, live and in color. A wild concept at the time, and as unfathomable as the Star Trek transporter, you know the one: “Beam me up, Scotty.” The Dick Tracy wristwatch, as seen in those old-time comic books, is now a reality, as seen in Zoom. It cannot be long before we are willingly disintegrating our bodies in one location and reconfiguring them in another location miles or even light-years away, in an instant, as seen in Star Trek.

“Even though we’re all remote, we can still work with each other,” continued Evelyn. “Zoom came just in time. It’s the ultimate in social-distancing.”

The popularity of Zoom has escalated with the arrival of the Coronavirus Event and has become the go-to method for group meetings. It’s a part of the ‘New Normal’.

“True, true!” said Barb. The outlines of Barb’s square box lit up electronic-yellow as she spoke, darkened when she stopped. The box lit up again, as she said, “But I’m getting Zoomed out. Meetings, meetings, meetings! My family is driving me crazy, too. They all want to Zoom all the time now!”

“I have a question about the Coronavirus Addendum to the Contract,” said Lisa as her square lit up. “Are we to…….”

Another box lit up as Jeff began to speak, interfering with Lisa: “Should we supply our Buyers with rubber gloves when we show…” “Hey, good morning!” said Ken, joining the meeting and interfering with Jeff and Lisa. Another box lit up, squawking and squealing, drowning out all others. It was a box with no name, and no video. We couldn’t see anyone in the box. It was a new participant joining the meeting, possibly with bad equipment, or perhaps they were running their fingernails down a blackboard for fun.

“Mute! Mute! Mute!” screamed participants. “Mute him, Doug, mute him!” said others.
I was the ‘Host’ of the meeting, so I had the power to mute any or all participants. I frantically searched for the right place at the bottom of my screen to click ‘Mute All Participants.’ Chaos ensued in the Zoom meeting. Boxes flashed on and off sporadically across the screen. The noise was like an elephant stampede, or a stadium full of soccer fans blowing their screeching Vuvuzelas, those long plastic horns of which I could not remember the name until I just Googled “soccer horns.”

At last, I succeeded in muting all participants. Beautiful silence.

“Okay,” I said, “when you want to speak you can unmute yourself and…” Alas, I had not unmuted myself. I was a silent talking head. My mouth was moving, but no sound.

“Unmute! Unmute! You need to Unmute!” came the screams from the little boxes, as they unmuted themselves and yelled at me.

And so it goes in Zoom meetings. Won’t it be great to get back to the Old Normal?

June 24, 2020

Gone

My buddy Ryan texted me: “Hey Doug, long time no talk. Hope you’re doing well. Please say Hi to Coral for me. I need some advice on selling our family’s land north of Chico.”

I love hearing from Ryan, because he’s always excited to talk about anything and everything, and he’s well-informed about lots of things. Coral and I met him fifteen years ago when he sold us a car. He loves to talk about cars. (“Who would guess the combustible engine could evolve into this affordable and quiet car with features of luxury and comfort that make driving a constant pleasure?” he said. “The Industrial Revolution! Amazing!”).

He had an idea to open a pet store. He loves to talk about animals. (“Just think,” he said, “I could help put smiles on the faces of thousands of kids who come get a new pet! And they will learn the responsibility and care it takes to raise a beloved animal friend!”). He became the guy in charge at the local radio station for putting together radio ads. He loves to talk about broadcasting and media markets. (“The reach and the power of the radio only gets stronger and better all the time!”).

His voice is big and fast and excited. He signed me up for a series of radio “spots” advertising our Real Estate company. He voice-recorded those spots for our ads. He toned down his big voice lower and slower and smoothed it out for the airwaves.

“Man,” said one of our Agents, “Who did you pay to voice-over our radio ads? He sounds like the ‘Most Interesting Man in the World!”

Ryan also loves land and buildings and houses, and he loves to talk about Real Estate. (“My Grandfather made all the right moves,” he said. “Brilliant! He kept buying Real Estate and he built half the town up there!”)

I texted back: “Ryan! Way too long! Let me dig into the information about your property and try to figure out your best move. Be well, my friend. Can’t wait to dine with you again.”

The last time I dined with Ryan, as I remembered, was a few months ago. We met for lunch at the Raw Bar sushi restaurant and he signed me up for that Real Estate radio advertising contract. And he told me about his family’s land. “This is the last undeveloped 50 acres my Grandfather left our family. It’s a beautiful piece! But you gotta have the vision! That land has waterways and greenways and needs to be developed the right way!” He was thinking maybe he would try and work on developing it himself.

I called him. “Hey! I said, “maybe we should meet at the Raw Bar, like we did a few months back, and talk about that land of yours.”

“Dude,” he said. “That was not a few months back. That was before the Fire. Like a year and a half ago. Before I moved away.”

Wow. That long ago? Uh-oh. Camp Fire. Moved away? Oh yeah, now I remember, he lived in Paradise.

“Did you lose your house?” I asked.

“Yep,” he said, “Moved out here to the family hometown outside Rochester, New York.”

“Sorry,” I said.

“Hey,” he said. “when doors close, other doors open! I bought a 2000 square foot home here for $132,000, got a job managing two radio stations. We’re gonna buy land at $2500 an acre, raise animals and grow crops. It’s actually very exciting!”

“Wow,” I said. “Sounds great, but I hate losing good people from our area. The Camp Fire does it again. How long did you live here in the Northstate?”

“Forty years, my man! My whole life.”

“You should come back here and work on the family land you’re talking about selling.”

“Not happening,” he said. “We’re gone.”

“I hate losing good people,” I said.

“We’re not lost,” he said, “but we are gone.”

I hate that.

June 24, 2020

Fire Safe

When the Camp Fire burned through Butte Creek Canyon last November, we lucked out and still have our house. I say we lucked out, because it wasn’t our fire prevention methods that kept our structures intact, it was our on-the-ball neighbors and dedicated firefighters that saved us.

After the fire, we swore we would dedicate ourselves to home fire prevention by creating the defensible space we need to have a better chance of making it through the next fire without relying on neighbors and firefighters. Many of our neighbors who made it through the fire for the same reasons we did, swore the same dedication.

Here we are a year later, and I can’t brag about our fire prevention efforts. I can’t brag about many of my neighbors, either. We do have professional tree trimmers lined up to come out to our place to remove the dangerous branches, trees, and shrubs hanging around our structures, but a lot more needs to be done.

The Butte Fire Safe Council has good advice for me and my neighbors. Please take note of the directions below, and take their advice, or pass it on to those who need it:

Your “defensible space” is the area that is a minimum of 100 feet from your home (as required under State Public Resources Code 4291 and other local ordinances).

This is the area where you need to modify the landscape to allow your house to survive on its own –greatly improving the odds for firefighters defending your home.

If your home is on a slope or subject to high winds, extend the distance of this zone based upon the “X-Factor.” for instance, this zone may increase to 150 feet .

The three R’s of defensible space.

Remove – dead and dying grass, shrubs and trees.

Reduce – the density of vegetation (fuel) and ladder fuels, those fuels extending from the ground to the tree canopies.

Replace – hazardous vegetation with less flammable, irrigated landscape vegetation, including lawn or other low-growing groundcovers and flowering plants.

The Home Ignition Zone (the home plus 10 ft distance)

It’s the ‘little things’ that will endanger your home. Just one little ember landing on one pile of flammable material will start the fire that burns a house down. Spend a morning searching out and getting rid of those flammable little things outside. Your home will be much safer!

1. Keep your rain gutters and roof clean of all flammable material.

2. Get rid of dry grass, brush, and other flammable materials around your home –and don’t forget leaves, pine needles and bark walkways. Replace with well-maintained or watered landscape vegetation, green lawn and landscape rocks.

3. Clear all flammable materials from your deck. This includes brooms, stacked wood, and easily ignitable patio furniture. Also enclose or board up the area under your deck to keep it from becoming a fuel bed for hot embers.

4. Move woodpiles and garbage cans away from your home. Keep woodpiles away from the home, a distance of two times the height of the pile –more if your lot size allows.

5. Use fine mesh metal screen to cover eaves, roof and foundation vents to prevent windblown embers from entering.

6. Inspect and clean your chimney every year. Trim away branches within 10 feet. Install a spark arrester with 1/2″ or smaller mesh screen.

The Butte County Fire Safe Council website has all this advice and much more. Check it out and pass it on!


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