Love's Real Stories

Answering all the real estate questions you never knew you had.

Category: Buyers

December 27, 2013

Roof Life

I spotted a guy driving a pickup truck weaving through traffic, sticking his head out the window, looking up.

The pickup truck looked like it had been splattered randomly with buckets of black tar and dented by hammers and other blunt objects, which it had, because it was a roofing truck. The guy driving was John James Miskella, and he was looking up because he was looking at roofs. Half of the roofs around town had been installed by John James or his father before him, and he kept his eye on them like a dad watching over his kids.

I had called John James in behalf of my first-time buyers, Dion and Alma Sarafino, to provide a roof report for the house they were buying.

“A report?” he said on the phone. “I can tell you right now the doggone place needs a new roof. When they built that subdivision they hired out-of-towners who slapped those roofs on with cheap materials and hit the road. The ridge shingles are warped and cracked, and the valley flashings are rusted through. Those roofs are dying prematurely.”

I now stood in front of the house when John James pulled up. He slid the ladder out of the truck, leaned it against the rafters and lunged up to the roof like a panther. I lumbered up behind him.

He kneeled at the peak of the roof and moved his hands lightly along the shingles as if he were gauging the health of a sick beast.

“What a shame,” he said. “Like I said, it needs a new roof. And I would feel better about the whole doggone thing if that separate patio roof got replaced, too. They used cheap roll roofing on it instead of hot tar. ”

I wrote up a repair request. The seller agreed to replace the main roof but not the separate patio roof. Dion and Alma were disappointed.

“The patio roof will cost as much as three house payments,” said Dion,” but let’s move ahead.”

A week later I met at the house with Dion and Alma as John James was finishing up his job.

“Now that’s a good roof,” said John James.

“Wait a minute,” said Alma, “isn’t that a new patio roof?”

John James nodded.

“But that’s not being paid for,” she said.

“I know,” said John James Miskella, “but now I feel better about the whole doggone thing.”

Leave a comment
December 22, 2013

No Bull

Spring sunshine floated down through the sycamores and oaks and splashed upon the country lane, spreading dappled shades of yellow and green across the graveled surface. In the fields on either side, cows munched new spring grass, and calves hopped and bucked about the pasture.

My passengers, buyer clients Mark and Janice, sat smiling in a dreamy way. Janice said softly, “This place has good vibes.”

We rolled to a stop, stepped out of the car and drank in the air, a heady fragrance of almond blossoms, tilled earth, and a light bovine bouquet from barns and pastures.

Janice took Mark’s hand and they strolled onto the long covered porch of the 1930’s ranch house. From its front-door oval window and glass door knob, to its stone hearth and hardwood floors, the place inspired confidence in its stability and structure.

“They kept it in good shape,” said Mark.

“It’s beautiful,” said Janice.

Sensing a sale, I had an urge to recite the list of amenities included, like the new forced air system, the R-30 attic insulation and the updated electrical panel. But the voice of my wise old mentor KDV came to mind: “Never miss a chance to shut up, my brother. Give your buyer some room. Let the magic happen, babe.”

I meandered into the neighboring pasture alone to give Mark and Janice some space. They eventually joined me, smiling hand-in-hand. Mark said, “We’ve decided we want to make an off…….” He froze. The ground rumbled. I turned around and caught sight of a streaking mountain of quivering bull-flesh thundering toward us. Mark and Janice went one way, and I went the other, each of us diving through strands of barbed wire as the bull stomped and spun in our tracks, cross-eyed and crazy.

In the sanctuary of the car, Janice said, “That was a bad sign. I can’t raise my kids in vibes like that.”

“Let’s get out of here,” said Mark.

Back at the office, KDV said, “Did you make the sale, bro?”

I shook my head slowly.

“I’m surprised,” he said. “It sounded perfect for your people, and the write-up on the place was impressive.”

“Yeah,” I said, “but it turned out to be a whole lot of bull.”

Leave a comment
November 3, 2013

Aunt Ruthie

Aunt Ruthie giveth and Aunt Ruthie taketh away. Either way, we need to be prepared for The Aunt Ruthie Factor.

I became aware of The Aunt Ruthie Factor one rainy afternoon at a 1920’s California Craftsman style house, which was soon to be the new home of my clients Randy and Julie Hallman. Randy and Julie loved the house and knick-named it “Our Heart’s Desire”. We were now in the inspection phase of their purchase, and they brought Randy’s Aunt Ruthie by for a look. Aunt Ruthie, from my perspective, was a four-foot tall umbrella with feet that skittered like a sand crab from the street to the house. When she crawled out from under her umbrella and revealed the entirety of her person, I stepped backward involuntarily; she bore the facial features of the stereotypical witch, warts-and-all.

“We love the hardwood floors, Aunt Ruthie,” said Julie, “and isn’t the kitchen cute?”

Aunt Ruthie stumped around the place wagging her head, muttering “No; no; no.” We cancelled escrow that day.

My mentor, the wise old KDV, commiserated with me later. “Ah, yes, my son,” he said, “you’ve been done in by the family deal-killer syndrome. That, my friend, is a force for which we in the sales world have no defense. Matters of blood relations are stronger than the surging tides, babe.”

Two months later, it was time again to implement the Aunt Ruthie Factor. Randy and Julie fell in love with another home, a neglected two-story Queen Ann Victorian. We were silent as Aunt Ruthie inspected. Julie clasped her hands under her chin. Aunt Ruthie stood in the center of the empty living room, and a shadow appeared from the carpet, rising up her legs. I noticed the same shadow crawling up my own legs; and Randy’s; and Julie’s.

“FLEAS!”

A passerby on the street might have perceived us as an odd Irish step-dancing quartet, except without timing or syncopation, as we high-stepped out the front door and pranced about the front yard.

“Should I draft the cancellation-of-sale papers?” I asked.

Aunt Ruthie wagged her head. “No; no; no,” she said.

Julie said, “So that means yes? Yes! Oh yes!”

The Aunt Ruthie Factor works in strange ways.

Leave a comment
August 22, 2013

Dressing Up

I received a phone message from a frustrated homebuyer, who was calling about the article I wrote about a frustrated homebuyer.

“The only point you made,” he said, “is that buyers with all cash are beating out us buyers with loans. Duh. We know that. Why don’t you give some constructive advice to help us out instead of just rubbing our faces in it?”

I considered his constructive advice and went on to the next message, this from a formerly frustrated homebuyer who succeeded in buying a house.

“We were so frustrated,” she said. “We made offers on six houses, and lost every one. Then we learned the secret to success. The secret is all about dressing up. Our Realtor dressed us up. There were three other offers on the house we bought. Two were all cash.”

I located that Realtor and asked her what gives with all this dressing up. She looked furtively about and quickly ushered me into her office. In a hushed voice she said she would tell me the secret if I promised not to tell anyone, which I haven’t.

She described the typical situation: A house comes on the market. The house is shown intensively because housing inventory is low and buyer demand is high. The seller receives five offers right off the bat. The seller and their Realtor review the five offers. One is all cash and close enough to asking price, so it’s the winner. The offers with loans are the losers.

Then, she revealed her secret: “I insisted I be given the opportunity to present my buyers’ offer to the seller. In person. Buyers’ agents have that right, but it’s rarely exercised these days. I was persistent and the listing agent made arrangements with the seller. Then the dressing up began.”

The dressing up consisted of: 1) a glowing letter from the buyers’ lender proclaiming the buyers’ qualifications, with assurances the loan would close quickly; 2) a letter from the buyers themselves containing a mini-biography, complete with photos; 3) kneeling before the seller and begging them to take her buyers’ offer.

“Actually,” said the Realtor, “no kneeling; I simply described my buyers in a very personal way to the seller, and expressed their true desire to own that home. The seller reacted favorably, and chose my buyers’ offer over cash.”

I’m calling this information constructive advice. But remember, it’s a secret, so keep it under your hat.

Leave a comment
March 25, 2013

How to Buy a House

Get off the internet: Cruise online until your eyes turn red, but at some point you need to go outside, visit some houses, and use all of your senses. The pictures of a house online aren’t going to show you the neighbor with the eight dead cars and three snarling dogs. The pictures can’t convey the smell of carpet in a house with 5 cats and one over-used litter box. Through the portal of your computer monitor you can’t hear the traffic from the highway; the saw blades whining in the nearby shop; the “music” from the band practicing in the neighbor’s garage. You can’t feel the house shake when the train rolls by.

Get a good guide: Find a realtor who has their head in the game. A good realtor hears the juicy news, like a price reduction coming soon on a listed house; a new listing coming before it hits the market; a sale falling apart and therefore a house coming back on the market. A good realtor will share with you the private tidbits if you are a loyal client.

Look at property you don’t want: Get educated. That means looking at all the houses in your price range, including the dogs and the frogs. Houses that are priced right sell fast, so you’ll soon be able to recognize fair pricing. Drive by houses that have recently sold, too- your realtor can give you the details on them. That’s how you get a good picture of current value.

Get a pedigree: Find a loan officer who will do their homework and get you pre-approved for a loan. Get your pre-approval letter and show it off like a job applicant with a diploma. The offer you write on a house should include your pre-approval letter so the seller can see you’re a bonafide real-deal buyer.

Butter it up: You won’t have the opportunity to meet the seller when your offer is presented, so show them who you are. Put together your promo package like an actor auditioning for a part. Photos, bio, resume’, a letter to the seller expressing your heartfelt desire for their home, and all the reasons you deserve it. Sellers like to sell to people they like.

Move fast: When a house comes on the market that looks, smells, and feels right; and your expertise in your price range tells you the house is priced right- jump now! Your expertise might also tell you that five to ten other buyers are moving on it. If that’s the case- as it often will be in 2013- you’ll know you better offer full price. Or more.

It’s a tough job for a buyer in 2013, and it can be hard to know exactly which move to make from time to time, but you can at least make an educated guess.

Leave a comment
Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started