Love's Real Stories

July 26, 2015

Luck o’ the Irish

Good news! Today’s newspaper says interest rates will be cut nationwide. Every single homeowner with a home loan will receive a reduction on their interest rate and therefore, a lower house payment. I looked up from the newspaper to my wife; and from my wife down to the newspaper. “Lassie, you’ll not believe what I’m seein’ with me own two eyes,” I said.

She glanced nervously around the tea shop, and whispered, “Stop using that fake Irish accent. It’s embarrassing.”

“I’m thinkin’ I sound perfectly natural,” I said, continuing with my best Irish brogue, rolling the r’s and rounding the vowels.

She rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows.

“Ach! You’re a bonny lass!” I exclaimed.

“Stop it!” she whispered. She lowered her head, as if she could hide from the other patrons in the tea shop by disappearing into the tabletop.

“Anyway,” I said in my flattest American accent, “can you believe the entire nation is getting a loan modification? For free? And apparently, with no hassle!”

I quoted from the newspaper: “Today the Finance Minister announced victory over the lenders in a long-running dispute over the interest paid by homeowners. A source said the banks have committed to giving customers a better deal within the next two months. Ultimately all borrowers will be able to access a mortgage interest rate of below 4 percent, and all will receive a cut of at least ¼ percent, and up to ¾ percent.”

“Wow,” I said, “we should be so lucky.”

“That will never happen to us,” said my wife.

It will never happen for us because we are Americans, and you see, the tea shop we occupied and the newspaper I was reading were in Ireland.

The newspaper article continued: “’There was a game of chicken going on and it seems the banks broke first,’ said the source.”

Ireland experienced the same boom and bust cycle the United States did a few years back, with shady lending practices by banks as part of the blame.

“Well, the Irish deserve it after all they’ve been through,” said my wife. “It’s amazing they’re so friendly and good-natured. But the Irish heart is a tender one.”

It’s true. We received a crash course in Irish history during our recent trip there, and it’s a violent history, despite the calm beauty of the watery green island today. A guide who set us up with a boat trip over the Lakes of Killarney gave us a detailed description of the slaughter, famine and displacement of his clan. Tears rolled down the face of this Viking-looking Irishman as he described the brutality suffered by his people at the hands of foreign oppressors. The Irishman’s tears were fresh, though the events he described took place in the year 1601.

“The Irish do deserve this, Lass. Truer words were never spoken,” I said, reverting to my finest Irish accent. “But I envy the luck o’ the Irish when it comes to their good fortune with this interest rate bit.”

“I wouldn’t be so embarrassed if your accent wasn’t so lousy,” said my wife, looking warily around the tea shop.

“Bless your heart, Lass,” I said, “let’s go kiss the Blarney Stone.”

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April 23, 2015

Nobody Home

Walking around in people’s houses when they aren’t home is an odd part of the Real Estate job. You witness some peculiar things.

I once saw a Basset Hound sprawled on the kitchen floor in front of an open refrigerator door surrounded by a great splatter of former contents of that refrigerator. Stained meat wrappers, mangled Tupperware containers, and various chunks, lumps, and hunks of foodstuff radiated from the snoring and bloated dog in a colorful collage like a Jackson Pollock painting.

Another time, I discovered a rat swimming frantically around in a toilet bowl, fighting for dear life. “Good riddance,” said Bill, my buyer. But I couldn’t leave that rat. Bill looked shocked when I scooped the little guy up with a plunger and flipped him outside. Hey, my kids owned pet rats named Fluffy and Scamper, and this was a cute one.

An odder part of the Real Estate job is walking around in people’s houses when you think they aren’t home, but they are. That oddity occurred three times over the course of a single weekend when I was showing houses to my client, Rosie.

First, in a workshop behind an old country farmhouse Rosie and I came upon an elderly man in overalls slumped over a dented metal desk, his head resting on his arms. I had dutifully yelled “REAL ESTATE!” when I opened the front door of the house; but not the shop. I coughed intentionally. The man jerked suddenly awake, alleviating our concerns that he might be dead, but the surprise appeared to nearly kill him anyway, for he clutched his chest and gasped, “Lordy, Lordy!”

At the next place, Rosie and I looked down from the second-story master bedroom window to the pool below, and beheld a man lying on his back, splayed out on a lounge chair, happily sunbathing in the nude. My front-door announcement had been unheard again. “Let’s get out of here,” whispered Rosie, and we slunk from the house anonymously, though I left a business card on the kitchen counter.

At the third place, we witnessed a lady strolling queen-like across her back yard. She held a wine glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and wore a long shimmering silky robe. She might as well have been striding through the grounds of a castle, though her home was modest. Classical music flowed from a table-top radio, enhancing the elegance of the spectacle.

Back at the office, Rosie said, “I’m sold on that blissful place with the lovely lady in the back yard. Let’s make an offer.” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you stage all that just to get me to buy that last house?”

I didn’t, but it’s not a bad idea.

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April 16, 2015

Do and Re-do

Callers and e-mailers are asking about the best bang-for-their-buck on home fix-up. Some people are thinking of selling, wanting to spiff their houses up without spending too much. Others don’t plan on selling any time soon, but don’t want to over-spend, either.

“Clean it and paint it” is the tried and true advice. “Re-carpet it” is good advice, too. If you’re selling, leave your personal taste for color out of the equation unless you favor neutral.

Paint it Red: Not necessarily neutral, but “Paint it Red” is the advice from home decorator experts. A new front door is a simple improvement that delivers impact, and “Red says ‘welcome’ in all cultures,” they say. Feng Shui proponents say to choose your color according to the direction your front door faces. You can look it up.
Convert it: Converting an attic or storage room or basement into a bedroom is a quick way to add value. Kids move back in with parents and parents move in with kids. The “spare bedroom” is seen as a bonus for people who sometimes like their family and visitors.
Line your Den: Whether you call it the office or the computer room or the den, the “extra room” it is a big draw. Everyone can use some more space, even after adding the new bedroom.
Go Outside: Building a deck is one of the least-expensive ways to extend your living space. Building a deck can bring a return on investment of up to 80 percent at the time of sale, according to the experts.
Go Back Outside: Check your curb appeal. Funky siding goes right to the top of a buyer’s worry list and makes them wonder what serious problems, structural or otherwise, might lurk behind. Fix it and paint it, and don’t cover it with vinyl if you can help it.
Help the Cook: The kitchen can be the make-it-or-break-it for a home sale. Kitchens are expensive, but you don’t have to go full-tilt. Replacing countertops, faucets, and cabinet hardware can be the missing ingredient.
Get Good Glass: Curb appeal again, with the added feature of energy efficiency. People are thinking green these days, and are interested in spending less green on their power bills.

Fix it, shine it, and make it better, but don’t turn it into the Downton Abbey, unless it’s just for you.

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April 9, 2015

Confused

Dear Real Estate,

What’s going on in the Real Estate market these days? We’re confused by the reports we get. The information seems conflicting.

– Confused

Dear Confused,

Conflicting Real Estate headlines are marching across websites, blogospheres, newspapers, magazines, and everywhere else headlines congregate.

For example, witness these contradictory headlines, which appeared within days of each other: “Home Sales Slow Down“ as opposed to “Home Sales 19% Higher.” And “Sales Prices Inching Up” as opposed to “Prices in Sharp Decline.” And “Buyers in Short Supply” as opposed to “Buyers Abound at Record Levels.” Anyone not confused by these must be confused.

Granted, markets are hard to read. Not to be forgotten however, is the lesson learned from my chalk-covered, eraser-clutching Professor of Economics. “All markets are local!” he would bellow. Bony finger in the air, one eyebrow raised, flecks of foam at the corners of his mouth, he stared us down. “All markets are local!” he repeated. “Forget the national headlines!” We the student body responded to his maniacal enthusiasm in appropriate fashion, slack-jawed and dim-lidded. The good professor held the sides of his head, shuddering at the futility of attempting to instill this critical concept into such a thick-skulled body of students.

The Professor’s efforts were not squandered, however. His lesson is forever embedded in at least one thick skull, burned into bony matter as if with a branding iron: All markets are local!

With that concept in mind, Confused, we sought the answer to your question by jumping in the trenches and interviewing real-life practitioners of local real estate:

Q.: What’s going on in the local market these days?

Local Realtor: Much busier than six months ago. More calls from sellers now. We’re list-pricing aggressively and selling successfully. Plenty of buyers, too, with multiple offers in many situations.

Q.: Is it easy?

Realtor: Very funny. No. Escrows take as long as they ever did, and are at least as complicated. Buyers have a hard time qualifying for loans. Loan underwriters demand repairs even if buyers don’t. Appraisals come in low. Short sales still take forever. I’m working harder than ever.

Q.: What’s the good news?

Realtor: We realtors are working well together. Teamwork is getting the job done.

Q.: When will the market change?

Realtor: Can’t say. Working hard feels good right now.

Less confused, Confused? Stay away from national headlines, they’re confusing. Remember, “All markets are………………!”

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April 2, 2015

Pending News

The housing market is in “full recovery mode” according to the National Association of Realtors. The proof, they say, is in the number of pending home sales, which rose more than 3% last month over January. That’s 12% higher than a year ago.

Pending home sales are measured by the number of signed Real Estate contracts in which all contingencies have been met, making it a valid indicator of a future home sale.

The Pending Home Sales Index now sits at the highest level since June 2013.

February’s rise over January gave a clear sign that cold weather had little impact on motivated buyers across the country, despite the predictions that freezing temperatures and piling snow would keep them indoors and out of the marketplace everywhere but the dry West. The Midwest was a standout. Pending home sales jumped 11.6% last month, a nearly 14% increase over last year.

“Several markets remain highly competitive due to supply pressures,” said Lawrence Yun, NAR’s chief economist. “The return of buyers this year will depend on how quickly inventory shows up in the market.”

But inventory is down across the country. Homeowners have been slow to trade up, or even downsize, leaving a skinny market for buyers looking to make the move. Still, NAR is forecasting a 6.4% increase in existing-home sales this year, and a price increase of 5.6%.

February pending home sales dropped slightly last month in both the South and the Northeast, but the South is still nearly 11% above where it was last year, and the Northeast is 4% above last year. The West is the strongest performer, with a 6.6% increase last month and up a whopping 18% from last year.

NAR says a big factor in this recent buyer demand is rising consumer confidence. In fact, consumer optimism about the economy in general, according to the Consumer Confidence Board, hit a 10-year peak in the first quarter of 2015—its highest level since 2004, before the “Great Recession”.

“The strength of confidence, along with an improving jobs market, indicates that real consumption growth will accelerate over the coming months,” says Paul Ashworth, chief U.S. economist at Capital Economics.

When people are feeling good about the economy, they tend to start checking out interest rates and thinking about buying houses. Interest rates are low, so all the more reason for buyers to get up and go.

Now sellers need to get up and go and put their houses on the market for these hungry buyers.

The pendings are depending on it.

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